I was planning on writing all about my AWESOME trip to New Orleans and, like, bragging about it to y’all. But then I got food poisoning while I was there and TRUST me: food poisoning ain’t nothin’ to brag about. Unless you’re a freak who’s into puke parties, but then that’s your deal, dude.

Anyway, one thing I’d been really looking forward to was getting a Pimm’s Cup Cocktail at the famous Napoleon House. Woe is me, I didn’t quite make it there, for reasons that should be obvious. But I did do some other fun stuff before I got sick and that’s all in the video.

Fortunately, they have the drink recipe on their website, although it leaves out a couple probably-important steps like stirring the drink and it also directs you to fill a glass completely with ice, but that hardly leaves any room for the 7-Up so I go for 3/4 full of ice. Like I said, I never had one while I was there so if you have, please try this recipe and let me know if it really is the same!

Photo By: Fuzzy Gerdes

Hold on to your tumtums, everyone! This is gonna be a wild and chocolatey ride!
The Choc-Island line is back on track!

We’re on the 2:10 to Yummy!

The Chocolate Train is headed for Yumm-Towne and it’s bringing fudge-y, delicious chocolate cakelets to all the Yumm-Townsians.

Whoa! Stop the train! Did I just take you on a trip in your mind to deliver fudge-y and delicious cakelets to a town in the Old West? Yeah, yeah I did.

But before you go accusing me of witchcraft… you might think again. You might instead want to consider accusing me of being a HUGE flippin’ dork. You know, for using words like “flippin’” and for imagining a place called “Yumm-Towne”.

Now that that’s all settled, here’s how to make these fudge-y fancy flourless chocolate cakes that require only FIVE ingredients! Whoa! FIVE INGREDIENTS!? Maybe it is witchcraft after all.

A couple months back, I received an email that gently pointed out to me that there was not a chicken enchiladas recipe to be found anywhere on my site. Sacrilege! I was utterly mortified and sought to remedy this egregious oversight post haste! (“Post haste” in this instance evidently means more like what “post haste” meant back in the days of the Pony Express, ie a couple months.)

Enchiladas verdes was the recipe in particular that was desired — that Tex-Mex favorite, with a fresh tomatillo sauce and shredded chicken filling, topped with melted white cheese and sometimes sour cream.

She who desired it was actually a classmate of mine from high school English with whom I had failed to keep in touch lo these many (15!) years. I remembered her though, particularly because of her extraordinary writing. Once she wrote a poem for class that I really liked and I asked for a copy of it and then took it home and read it to my BFATT (boyfriend-at-the-time) and by virtue of not telling him that someone else wrote it, I implied that I myself had written it and I imagined that he thought I was a genius poetess, except that the poem mentioned both Devo and Cuisinart and I knew not the correct pronunciation of either and therefore was busted.

So, to make up for trying to claim authorship of her poem in a misguided attempt to impress my D-bag-BFATT, I dedicate this recipe for chicken enchiladas verdes to Christine.

This was one of my favorite meals growing up. Corn tortillas filled with cheddar cheese and diced white onion, covered in red sauce, and heated just long enough for the cheese to melt, leaving the onions still crisp. My little brother hated onions when he was a kid, but my dad always insisted on putting onions in ALL the enchiladas. I mean, it would have been real easy to leave the onions out of one or two of them. He just didn’t want to. I’m not sure what his reasoning was, but I guess it worked because little brother is cool with onions now.

Of course, back then it was made with a can of enchilada sauce. While I still adore canned enchilada sauce, what with its supernaturally smooth texture and powerful single-note-seasoning of cumin, I also like to make my own. It’s been a several-year-long process, but I finally created an enchilada sauce that, while not really very similar to Old El Paso brand, is delicious and complex and fruity and toasted at the same time somehow. I credit the guajillo chilies. And my absolutely brilliant addition of cider vinegar.

Now that you’ve got the most awesome enchilada sauce on your hands (not literally, not yet anyway) it’s time to make the cheese enchiladas.

And for a complete Tex-Mex meal, serve with Spanish rice, refried beans, shredded cabbage or iceberg lettuce, chips and salsa, and margaritas!

Happy New Year, Everybody! No I’m NOT reading that calendar wrong. I’m talking about Chinese New Year! Yeah, you read that right.

And I made me some dim sum. I shortcutted my way through the dough and the Chinese barbecued pork filling, leaving me plenty of time to roll these babies around my kitchen on a little cart before digging in. JUST LIKE AT THE RESTAURANTS.

Not really. It was more like a deranged bag lady using a stolen Target shopping cart as a serving dish for pork buns and wontons.

But whatever.

Dim Sumbody say “Dim Sum”?! (Don’t hate me.)

Gather round, ye nut-lovers, and hear this tale of how the Nutter Baller came to be among our fleshly bodies.

That sounded gross.

I apologize.

I hope you’re still here so I can just tell you about this cookie that FAMOUS PASTRY CHEF ZAC YOUNG told me to make. He told me to make a cookie that was, like, my personality in a cookie. (Sidenote: he told me this, and everyone else in the YouTube Next Chef this, too. I am not that special.)

So, my personality in a cookie, uh? Well, then I guess I had to start with some hardcore self-reflection and analyzation to really get to the root of ME. My core being. The start of my soul.

Balls. And Nuts.
(or BallzNutz! on a bad day.)

That’s pretty much me in two words. Also, I love NutterButters and beer and salted peanuts and the fake banana flavor like they use in banana Laffy Taffys. Also cream filling and crunchy cookies and – this is very important – keeping shit simple.

So after an afternoon of experimentin’ I came up with this here crunchy peanut butter cookie sandwich filled with chopped salty peanuts and banana cream. Everyone agreed they are the just about the best cookie anyone had ever eaten, even Daisy loved them and she’s not even supposed to eat cookies! But she did and then we were mad at her for stealing all our cookies.

It seems like I have many stories involving frittatas.

But really, it’s just two.

For starters my dad used to make them a lot. He’d always put in leftover bread or pasta or even rice. While he called it a frittata, his were really more similar to a Spanish tortilla because they’d end up being 2 inches thick.

A more interesting story – though perhaps not by much – is about the first time my band was recording. This was about 8 years ago I guess and we were scheduled to be in the studio all day. So obviously we were gonna need sustenance and reinforcements, neither of which we had planned for unless you count a thermos of coffee and a cooler of beer.

But then, mid-morning, like an angel, my friend Natalie showed up with a HUGE frittata, a gallon of orange juice, and a handle of vodka. Brunch-Time!

The frittata was 12 inches across and filled with asparagus and ham if I remember correctly, and garnished with tomato slices. There were easily a dozen eggs in it. And it was delicious. And it kept us alive and humming for the duration of the day. Well, it plus the screwdrivers we guzzled like water.

And that’s the thing about frittatas that makes them so great. Unlike an omelet, a frittata can sit around a dank recording studio all day and still be plenty edible. Not that I necessarily recommend that, but it’s good to know. For example, you could take a slice of cooled frittata on a picnic, or on a long car ride, or munch it while you trot to the bus stop. Make a frittata one day and keep in the fridge for quick breakfasts during the week. That’s my suggestion. And I’m sticking to it.

I have no idea what to write about this recipe except that it’s the best in the world and you must believe me. Please, do not turn your ear away from the apparent arrogance in my self-serving claim of it being the best chicken tortilla soup recipe in the world and just listen to this story that will prove it:

When I was vegetarian, I used to make this without the chicken and it was still good.

Really. I took out the number one ingredient – the ingredient for which the recipe is named – and it was still delightful.

I think that is pretty significant.

I have a shortcut here with the broth that gives a rich flavor without requiring a million hours of simmering and straining. To try it is to love it.

P.S. Here’s a recipe for Spanish rice if you don’t have one. It really is nice served under the soup, especially if you’ve made the soup without the chicken: Spanish Rice
And also, How to Make Chicken Stock is at the bottom of this post: How to Roast a Chicken

If you’ve been keeping up with my Twitter account and FaceBook and Google Plus and all that junk where I post my most intimates, then you know Chris and I just got back from a trip to the Texas Riviera — a.k.a. Port Aransas. We ate a boatload (not literally) of fried seafood while we were there and loved it so much we came home and ate some more.

I know it’s not, like, the most dietary thing for those of you who are trying to eat healthier this year, but uh, it’s real good. I learned this super quick and simple calamari recipe from a Greek lady I used to work with.

There is really only one thing to remember when frying squid and that is not to overcook it. Like, just two minutes or less. Fer real. So, if you can manage that you can make perfect fried calamari whenever and pretend that you, too, are on the Texas Riviera.

Yes, it’s January and it’s freeezzzing and we’re cold and shivering in oversized shoes and raggedy coats, trying to warm up with fistfuls of matches and perhaps a cold margarita doesn’t quite fit into this scenario.

Perhaps.

Then again, perhaps a margarita is exactly what you need in order to trick your brain into thinking it’s summer again and you’re actually laying poolside and tanned, reading some mystery novel and applying sunscreen on the hour. (Or perhaps you live in the Southern hemisphere and you actually are laying poolside and tanned. Jealous! Send me a one-way ticket, please, to wherever you are. I won’t eat much.)

While I posted my patented* “3-2-1 margarita” recipe for Cinco de Mayo already, I don’t think I’ve told you about how easy it is (impossibly simple, really) to make a spicy habanero-infused margarita. Well, I’m telling you now: it’s easy. Here’s how.

 

*Not really