How To Make Cheeseburgers

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Simple is best when it comes to burgers


  • 1 pound ground chuck (for a luscious burger you want a 80/20 ratio; that is, 80% lean and 20% fat. But you can go leaner for a less fat-tastic burg)
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon pepper
  • 4 thin slices of cheez


  1. With your hands, mix the meat up with the salt and pepper. Mix it good, but gently. Mix it well, but watch yourself, buddy, and don’t mash it all violently. Use discretion.
  2. Divide into four even portions. Form into thin patties, about 5″ across.
  3. Heat a heavy skillet or an outdoor grill to real hot. If you’re using a leaner meat than 80/20, brush a little oil on the skillet or grill, or just right on the meat patties.
  4. Put your burgers on the skillet or grill and cook for about 4 minutes, until the sides start to look cooked (that is, gray and not red).
  5. Flip em and cook another 2 minutes.
  6. Put the cheese on there and cook another 30 seconds to a minute.
  7. Serve like you are supposed to. Like, on a bun with lettuce and tomato and onions and pickles and mustard and whatever else. Then eat it up with a pile of chips and 5 beers. Then take a nap in the sun and bask in its warmth knowing that all is right with the world.

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