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How To Make Cheeseburgers

In perfect opposition to last week’s veggie burgers, I present cheeseburgers! Yay! The All-American pastime. Just kidding, if we all spent all our free time eating cheeseburgers, we’d be like the fattest nation on earth! Oh …Wait …

Well, whatever. One delectable homemade cheeseburger won’t kill you and if it does…what a way to go, right?!

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How To Make Cheeseburgers

Simple is best when it comes to burgers

  • Yield: 4 1x
Scale

Ingredients

  • 1 pound ground chuck (for a luscious burger you want a 80/20 ratio; that is, 80% lean and 20% fat. But you can go leaner for a less fat-tastic burg)
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon pepper
  • 4 thin slices of cheez

Instructions

  1. With your hands, mix the meat up with the salt and pepper. Mix it good, but gently. Mix it well, but watch yourself, buddy, and don’t mash it all violently. Use discretion.
  2. Divide into four even portions. Form into thin patties, about 5″ across.
  3. Heat a heavy skillet or an outdoor grill to real hot. If you’re using a leaner meat than 80/20, brush a little oil on the skillet or grill, or just right on the meat patties.
  4. Put your burgers on the skillet or grill and cook for about 4 minutes, until the sides start to look cooked (that is, gray and not red).
  5. Flip em and cook another 2 minutes.
  6. Put the cheese on there and cook another 30 seconds to a minute.
  7. Serve like you are supposed to. Like, on a bun with lettuce and tomato and onions and pickles and mustard and whatever else. Then eat it up with a pile of chips and 5 beers. Then take a nap in the sun and bask in its warmth knowing that all is right with the world.

P.S. I forgot I promised a funny story about cheeseburgers. Umm, I guess I don’t really have one, though. Sorry about that. I hope that in its stead, you will accept a kind of lewd, only slightly funny story about puppy love and sausage wraps. You don’t have to read it.

Okay, so when I was 16, I went to Corpus (that’s Corpus Christi for non-Texans) to visit one of my best friends from middle school. It was Summer break I guess. She introduced me to this totally hot boy from her class. It was obviously meant to be since we both loved Nirvana, and also Sun Chips. We were on a tight love schedule since I was only going to be in town for a week and things progressed pretty quickly. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this. At any rate, I’ve started.

So, we were hanging out all day, everyday, at the beach and making out and stuff all over the place. (Sorry, Rachel. I know. Grody.) I ended up at his house one afternoon. And I mean that in the totally high school way — like, it was his bedroom in his mom’s house. We “messed around” a bunch, as they say. (Do kids still say that? I dunno. Doesn’t matter.) Then his mom invited me to stay over for dinner. It was kind of awkward, since there had just been some very adult behavior going on upstairs without her knowledge. She thought I was a very nice girl. Then she served sausage wraps. So maybe she did know what was going on upstairs. The End.

36 Comments

  1. Libby on March 1, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    I’m excited for when you show us how to make Tennis Balls of Meat.

    • Hilah Cooking on March 1, 2011 at 3:59 pm

      That would be a fun way to play tennis. With bacon rackets.

      • Dan Alcantara on March 1, 2011 at 5:13 pm

        At the very least, that would be a fun way of doing another episode on meatballs.

  2. Nat on March 1, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    It’s funny that she thought you were “a nice girl”! Haha, I’m just kidding. You are a very nice human being. And so is your husband…especially if he lends us his truck.

    • Hilah Cooking on March 1, 2011 at 7:30 pm

      YOU are a nice human being!

  3. Dan Alcantara on March 1, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    I am making me a cheeseburger this weekend.

    • Hilah Cooking on March 1, 2011 at 7:30 pm

      That’s exactly what I wanted to happen!

  4. Randy on March 1, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    I love cheese and I love burgers, but until recently I was never a fan of cheeseburgers. The looks you get when you say no to cheese on a burger are surreal. But I always stuck to my guns because I felt that the cheese dampened that beefy flavor I love. Then, about a year ago, I mentioned my reasoning to my 9 year old niece. She said that I wouldn’t feel that way if I made sure that the cheese was sharp or extra sharp cheddar. That didn’t seem to make sense, but the next time I was at the Alamo Drafthouse, I noticed that their cheeseburgers included sharp cheddar so I tried one. I’m now a convert.

    • Hilah Cooking on March 1, 2011 at 7:30 pm

      Your niece is smart.

  5. Jane on March 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    Oh man – those look good and I’m making them this week (the veggie burgers were awesome, now I need to make some fatass burgers to balance that out).

    I paid close attention to your meat handling skills (DIRTY) because the last time I tried making meat burgers I over did it with the hand-work and they had the texture of hot dogs. GAG.

    • Hilah Cooking on March 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm

      You better make your man a meat sandwich before he mutinies.
      I hope you can learn a lesson from my meat-handling skills. I’m pretty expert.

  6. Shawn on March 1, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    OMG that was the best supposed-to-be-hamburger-actually-turned-semi-lewd-story EVER! I lol’d. AND making the hamburgers this weekend! yay!

    • Hilah Cooking on March 2, 2011 at 1:05 am

      Oh Hooray! I’m glad you appreciated it, Shawn! 🙂

  7. Mark on March 2, 2011 at 12:09 am

    Are you wearing my bejeweled rope belt as a sash?

    • Hilah Cooking on March 2, 2011 at 1:05 am

      No! That is MY bejeweled head sash as a belt.

  8. Rachael Macry on March 3, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    I’m convinced that cheeseburgers can be a reasonable dinner option! I use the lean meat, whole wheat buns, plenty of fixin’s including japs, (no bacon no mayo, though). Serve with a salad or veg on the side. How is that worse than a small lean steak, whole wheat roll, salad, and veg? Makes perfect sense to me. 🙂

    I actually made cheeseburgers last night. Served them with leftover homemade bean soup (which was 100% fat free and full of fiber…).

    • Hilah Cooking on March 3, 2011 at 7:29 pm

      Hi Rachael! Yes! It makes perfect sense to me, too! 🙂 Sounds like you’ve got a healthy attitude towards food. I love that!
      Thank you for commenting!
      -hilah

  9. Jack on March 4, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    I was just saying to my sister “Sister, I can’t wait til I get back from Southeast Asia and eat me a real cheeseburger.” And then I saw this and all you’ve done is strengthen my resolve Hilah.

    I was thinking of going to Fuddruckers because I’m lazy and impatient, but now I might just get me some meat to goosh and do it all by myself. I could save literally pennies that way and it would be more deliciouser (yeah, that just happened – I made up a rad word).

    • Hilah Cooking on March 5, 2011 at 2:27 pm

      I’m really glad to help support you on your cheeseburger quest. They are really too easy NOT to make yourself (and I do realize who I’m talking to here, Jack. Even you can do it. Swearzies!)

  10. gabbatron on March 6, 2011 at 7:30 am

    Hilah, first time I’ve ever posted anything although I’ve watched and rewatched all your episodes and have cooked quite a few of your recipes, but this cheeseburger one is a true gem, I just polished off 2 of the damn things.
    Here in Sydney Australia there’s this massive trend towards “designer” burger joints and we pay anything from $10 to $18 for one of them.
    Being tired from working all night (mardi gras here) I followed your recipe to the letter and it turned out absolutely heavenly.
    Seriously it was so good I was shocked.
    Respect woman, perfection in simplicity.

    • Hilah Cooking on March 6, 2011 at 2:03 pm

      Hey dude! Thanks for writing! Ugh, yeah, I know what you mean about the $15 burger. Totally bogus. So I’m happy to hear you’re a burgermaster now! 🙂

  11. Barbara on March 8, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Hi! I just made cheesburger by your recipe and it was GREAT! Greetings from Slovenia 🙂

    • Hilah Cooking on March 10, 2011 at 5:30 pm

      Hello, Barbara! Yay! Thanks for sharing your success story!

  12. Norm on March 11, 2011 at 2:39 am

    Hilah, deeeer you make the best cheeseburgers and are the best cook ever.

    • Hilah Cooking on March 11, 2011 at 2:54 pm

      BEST COOK IN THE WORLD!!! (I kid…or do I?)

      • Norm on March 11, 2011 at 3:37 pm

        World Champion Cook of Texas! Oh, speaking of Texas… how about a recipe for Texas BBQ Brisket?? And what’s the best place around Austin for BBQ? I’ll be flying in a couple of weeks!

  13. Mykey on April 10, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    My first post but have seen all of Hilah (well, of her cookin’ anywayz).

    Now Hilah, you mentioned, when talking about the size of the burger, that you “don’t need to kill myself any harder than I’m already trying.”

    Well – did you know if you have 100% grass fed beef it is actually as healthy or healthier than chicken? When they feed the cattle corn/grain in the latter part of their lives to plumpen them (catle usually start on grass) it really mucks up the animals. Skews the good/bad cholestrol in favor of bad. Decreases those good for you omega 3 acids. Sickens them so they need to get shot with antibiotics. And reduces the taste, to boot!

    Go for the grass fed and you’ll be eatin’ healthy and delicious – and yeah – a tad more expensive. But aren’t you worth it???

    • Hilah Cooking on April 11, 2011 at 12:55 pm

      Wow! Thanks for the info, Mykey! I love gettin’ educated.

  14. jennee on August 15, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    Yum, now I wanna cheeseburger…because I’m a white all-american!

    I just came across your little show and enjoy it. I make aprons and would love to send you one to wear on an episode of your show. If you’d be interested in that, let me know.

    jenneethompson(at)yahoo(dot)com

    • Hilah on August 15, 2011 at 9:42 pm

      Thank you so much, Jennee! I’ll email you.

  15. colin on June 30, 2012 at 10:17 am

    I loooooooovvvveee burger’s and this is the peeeeerrrrrfect recipe! !!! Thank u so much. I’m ten and I’m definitely going to make these

    • Hilah on July 1, 2012 at 9:30 pm

      Hi Colin! Thank you so much! I’m really happy to hear that you’re already cooking at age 10. Good for you!

  16. Albert on September 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    Do you have any recipes for healthy cheeseburgers that are not vegan or vegetarian?

    • Hilah on September 17, 2012 at 8:15 am

      You mean like turkey burgers?

  17. nassar talal on February 7, 2014 at 10:54 am

    This is acool story ican imaigen

    That he so lucky to have a girlfriend like u

    Your web site so cool im 14 years old im im from saudi Arabia and iwish to be in usa some dat or be amirican

  18. alis on June 26, 2014 at 3:47 am

    the cheeseburger was veryyyyyyyyyyyyy yummy i tried it. but don’t u think u were being a little over? like u were doing a little overacting. :/ well that doesn’t even matter, keep up with ur cooking (Y) 🙂

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