Texas Bacon Biscuit Sliders

Password: bathroomfunk

My old buddy Freekzone stopped by after I made biscuits last week. He always shows up when I least expect it and usually when I am pretty loaded and occasionally when I am in the shower or just getting out of the shower. One time, I had been showering while I was pretty loaded and he was sneaking in the bathroom window just in time to catch me falling and keep me from cracking my pretty head open on the tile. Then he made me fried chicken and we ate it in the backseat of the car, chasing it with Alka-Seltzer and vodka. But I digress.

This day when he showed up, I was not in a very good mood, but Freekzone sure knows how to cheer me up. He showed me how to make bacon and cheese sliders with my hot flaky biscuits. Damn, Freekzone! You know the way to a girl’s heart! Here’s how he do it.

  • 12 Biscuits, baked
  • 1 pound ground beef
  • 3 slices of cheese, quartered
  • 4 slices of bacon

Make 12 little patties out of your meat and season with pepper. Fry the bacon until crispy and remove from the pan (start them in a cold pan and they won’t curl up as much). Cook your little patties in the bacon grease about 5 minutes on each side until they are almost done. Put a little piece of cheese on each one and let it melt. Make tiny burgers with your biscuits, cheesy patties, and 1/3 strip of bacon on each. Also, put some spicy mustard and pickles on it and you won’t be sorry. You’ll be crying out “Freekzone! Freekzone!” all night, baby.

Another BONUS!

We found this interview with Freekzone where he offers proof that he wrote the Coldplay song!


  1. Cassie on May 6, 2010 at 6:14 am

    Totally fun vid! you had me cracking up from the bathroomfunk password! Thanks 🙂

  2. Peter Walker on May 6, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Its amazing! Freakzone has a twin sister. She comes to my place on occasion. LOL

    Great show Hilah!

    • Hilah Cooking on May 7, 2010 at 12:43 pm

      Ha! I suspect there are MANY doppelgangers of Freekzone in the world! Thanks for watching!

  3. Robert Ramsay on May 6, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    Absolutely Hilarius! great stuff! keep up the good work!

    • Hilah Cooking on May 7, 2010 at 12:43 pm

      Thank you!

      • Lyn Dyer on May 7, 2010 at 4:04 pm

        Awesome Hilah !, I’m gonna mak em tonight !!

        • Hilah Cooking on May 7, 2010 at 8:20 pm

          Yay! Let me know how it goes!

  4. Garen on May 6, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    Awesome! Although I think The Funk has been cheating on Freekzone, cause I’ve been having a thing with it for a while now.

    • Hilah Cooking on May 7, 2010 at 12:44 pm

      Ooh, don’t tell Freekzone! He’s the jealous type.

  5. TarheelPhilly on May 7, 2010 at 2:18 am


    • Hilah Cooking on May 7, 2010 at 12:44 pm


  6. Dee on May 7, 2010 at 5:28 am

    OMG!!! I am in love with Freakzone he needs to come to my house and help me cook LOL. This video was so funny and great thanks.

    • Hilah Cooking on May 7, 2010 at 12:47 pm

      Oh, Dee, look out! Freekzone just might stop by when you least expect it. Damsels in kitchen distress are his thing.

  7. Christy on May 7, 2010 at 5:59 am

    OMG I am in tears here, both from laughing so hard and from the anguish of not being able to eat bacon! THAT SHIT LOOKS AWESOME!

    Freekzone definitely deserves more beer for his fine contribution.

    • Hilah Cooking on May 7, 2010 at 12:40 pm

      Hooray! So glad you liked the video. So sad no bacon!

  8. Randy on May 7, 2010 at 6:22 am

    Well now, this wasn’t quite what I was expecting. It was better. It looked like, at a few places there Freekzone really had you going. This is definitely a NSFW video and on YouTube it would surely be censored. I think you guys might have actually been sort of under the influence. Anyway, I loved it and I also think you should do more like this.

    I did make the biscuits and had them with sausages and gravy. Ain’t gonna buy that crap in the can no more. These are tons better and way cheaper.

    • Hilah Cooking on May 7, 2010 at 12:37 pm

      Hallelujah, Randy! My first biscuit convert! Thanks for doing them justice with sausage and gravy.
      And Freekzone is crazy – I really didn’t know what to expect in that episode either.

  9. Paul on May 26, 2010 at 9:21 am

    yeah, and maybe later we’ll go to whole foods and get some alfalfa sprouts…. heeeeeeeeeeeeeellll no you don’t drain the fat! Classic.

    p.s. if you’re cooking for uma thurman…. drain the fat.

  10. WizardofWesley on May 28, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Fantastic… FreakZone is Pure Funk… You M’Fair lady are Pure Hottt!! God Bless…. Keep ‘Em Comming…
    Lovin it here in the Sunshine State…… 😉

  11. lorrie on May 29, 2010 at 5:38 am

    Getting drunk in the kitchen with Freekzone seems like a great way to end a shitty day! I enjoyed the shit out of that shit!

  12. Robert on May 30, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Wow, you guys are crazy! Those sliders look awesome. I’ll have to try them sometime. Maybe Freakzone will show up in my kitchen? What do I have to do, rub a lamp or something?

    • Hilah Cooking on May 30, 2010 at 5:22 pm

      Well, Robert, it’s not exactly a lamp…

      • Robert on June 4, 2010 at 5:13 pm

        Maybe he’s rubbing another kind of slider…

  13. Idid Yermom on July 13, 2010 at 8:42 am

    FREEKZONE!! Awesome Hilah. Those Sliders looks amazing. Can’t wait to try them. 🙂

  14. DarthRachel on July 13, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    dayum! hilah you are hilahrious! “it is a good idea not to be drunk already when youre doing this.” I DISAGREE.

    totally gonna make these they look bitchin’

    • Hilah Cooking on July 13, 2010 at 10:17 pm

      Aw, hell! Be careful!

  15. Laura Lewis on July 14, 2010 at 10:04 am

    hilah! you wanna come to portland anytime, come stay with my roommates and I! we’d love to take you to some BOMBASTIC restaurants in the area!

    • Hilah Cooking on July 15, 2010 at 8:14 pm

      Sounds fun! I’ll holla if I’m ever up that way!

  16. Freeekzone!!!! on August 3, 2010 at 4:32 am

    If you are drunk enough and wish hard enough, I will so show up in your kitchen. Freeeeekzone!!!!!!!!

  17. Crazy Bitch on August 15, 2010 at 9:05 am

    HOLY FREEKSHIZZLE! That was the FUNNIEST fuggin’ cookin’ video I ever seen! ROFLMFAO! YUM! =D

    • Hilah Cooking on August 17, 2010 at 2:16 am

      Haha! Thank you!

  18. Frank on October 2, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Cupcake, I’d lay my meat on your grill.

  19. Brady Hamilton on December 10, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    That is some funny-ass-sh*t Hilah. I’m ready to drink some Lone Star and get my biscuits on!

    • Hilah Cooking on December 10, 2010 at 6:47 pm

      That’s the right way to do it, Brady!

  20. Austin on December 28, 2010 at 9:02 am

    now im going to make some, when im tripped out with freddy krueger!!!!!!!

    • Hilah Cooking on December 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm

      Go, Austin!

  21. Nate on February 28, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    OMG! This video had me dying! I thought it was so good that I decided to share it at a party this past Friday night. I think you’ll be getting another subscriber or two from it! I love your site!

    • Hilah Cooking on March 1, 2011 at 2:44 am

      Yay! Thank you so much, Nate!

  22. lance on March 31, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    OMFG!!!!!!!! you’re one crazy bitch! 🙂

  23. Jonathan Reiter on September 27, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    Great Idea! I’m gonna try those! I’ll get back to you when I have and tell you how they turned out….

    • Hilah on September 28, 2011 at 7:50 am

      Yay, Jonathan! Let me know! They are super easy and delicious, even if they might cause heart palpitations. 😉

  24. Jonathan Reiter on September 28, 2011 at 10:57 am

    You bet!!!!!! I think my brother will like these, two…

  25. Jonathan Reiter on September 28, 2011 at 10:58 am

    You bet!!!!!! I think my brother will like these, too…

    OOPS! Sorry, I can spell better than that!

    • Hilah on September 28, 2011 at 5:43 pm

      Ha! No worries! Those homophones’ll getcha when you least expect it!

  26. Jesse Rosales on October 14, 2011 at 4:17 am

    !!Hey Hilah watzzz up haha omg i made those mini baby burgers and omg it was like a party in my mouth that the cops raited good haha thanks Hilah nD Freekzone goin to make them today for lunch

    • Hilah on October 14, 2011 at 8:13 am

      Wasssup, Jesse!
      Great analogy. These little muthas are badass, right?! Have a great lunch and thanks for writing!

  27. joeydirt10 on November 18, 2011 at 8:38 am

    hehehehhehe i am so making those, totally funny

    • Hilah on November 18, 2011 at 9:53 am

      Sweet! 🙂

  28. maria on November 29, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    i just found out about your videos today and man do i feel like i missed out on months and months of fun. it’s gonna take me a while to catch up. this video had me in stitches. my husband asked me (from the other room) “what are you watching?” because i was giggling so hard. thanks for the laughs (and the recipe, which i might make someday when i’m feeling thin). xo

    • Hilah on December 2, 2011 at 8:46 pm

      Hi Maria!
      You just gave me warm fuzzies. I’m so glad you found me. Have lots of fun catching up and let me know when you try any of the recipes!

  29. David on December 27, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    That was fucking great! Please keep on doin whatchoo do!

    • Hilah on December 28, 2011 at 9:52 am

      Hay-ell yeah! Thanks, David!

  30. Rebecca (RNewell504) on January 6, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    please bring freekzone when you come to nola. :o)


    • Hilah on January 7, 2012 at 8:54 pm

      Oh man, I wish. I think Freekzone would probably not be allowed on an airplane.
      Cause of his titanium penis implant.

      • david on January 7, 2012 at 11:19 pm

        Hilah. you’re pretty fucking fantastic! Is it really you who responds to this here jibberish?

        • Hilah on January 9, 2012 at 9:13 pm

          Of course it’s me! You think I’d let an impostor respond to my beloved comments? NEVERRR!!!!

  31. John D. on January 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    LOL! When tha blood stops runnin’ and goes clear, she READY.

    Deplastify! TESTIFY!

    I was half expecting Freekzone to do a “blink” (like I dream of jeannie) at the end and yell “Badonkadonk!” as he disappears into a puff of smoke with a guitar riff.

    • Hilah on January 17, 2012 at 8:50 am

      Ahaha! Omigod. If we had the power to do special effects you can bet your bippy we’d have Freekzone disappearing in a puff of smoke alright!

  32. Josh on March 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    My favorite part is how you have open beer ready to give to people who appear out of thin air. Just how you roll I guess. 🙂

    • Hilah on March 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

      I’m a Southern belle, Josh! Of course I have beverages at the ready for any guests! 😉

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